Because, nothing says I love you like organizing a pile of buttons.
One of my two jobs–my career really–is being a postal worker. We have a reputation for being anal retentive and for lacking mental stability (go on, make your jokes. I’ve been finding humor in this for months). We also have a reputation for tedium, which is to say performing mundane tasks with attention to minute detail and procedure. I was discussing my passport training with Beloved the other day and mentioned that our training is so strict that we even have an entire section for application assembly that breaks it all down to things like how many staples we should use in every application scenario.
The answer is six. Or seven. Woe unto thee who uses five or eight! Go on, gasp in disbelief!
I mentioned tedium, so bring on the metaphorical buttons. I can hear her voice now:
“Pet, please post this large envelope using only my old collection of moisture activated stamps of assorted denominations. I want exact postage, and make sure the stamps are nice and neat and placed in descending value from right to left, top to bottom in rows no longer than four. And then you may touch my feet.”
I have these fantasies off and on, being asked to use a skill or knowledge to perform an act of service that’s onerously tedious.